My body has many stories to tell
They are filed
In bones, muscles, connective tissue and organs
As in a library
Stories I have spun, co-authored or inherited
Part fact, part fiction
Tragedy, fantasy and adventure
Mystery, comedy and documentary
Endings of relief, joy, peacefulness and connection
Of regret, loss, trauma and brokenness –
Thankfully, my spirit is resilient,
And always has been.
In my mind,
No step of self-reflection or opportunity for emotional growth
Was missed along the way
To healing and wholeness.
Yet each time
The knowing, kneading hands
Of the massage therapist
Move deeply, following
Connective tissue to points of attachment.
Inevitably and often surprisingly
Revealing remnants of the stories
Still embedded in my physical body.
And so, visit after visit,
Layer by layer, story by story,
My life unfolds in that tiny room
On that narrow table
Covered only with a white sheet.
Listening to the lull “massage music”
Drawing me into a meditative state
Which invites the mind to be elsewhere
But sometimes all I can do
Is breathe into the pain
And pray for the knot to dissolve
Or hope it does not relocate.
No conversation to distract
As each embedded story surfaces
With gratitude and patience
I notice, acknowledge and try
To let go.
And let be.
Rabbi Nina J. Mizrahi, Community Rabbi
25 Sivan 5776/ 1 July 2016